Don't Try This At Home

Damn those Girl Scouts and their fatty, preservative laden yet utterly delicious cookies. I walk out of the store with a stroller full of fresh vegetables, whole grains and lentils only to be assaulted by their deviously cute little faces imploring me to buy a box. How can I say no, knowing this is my LAST CHANCE for an entire year? This is the greatest marketing strategy ever.

In other news, Saturday was my first foray into the wonderful world of homemade shampoo. I had found several recipes online, but they all required lots of exotic ingredients and cooking and straining and waiting, which all sounded very expensive and messy and time-consuming. But then I thought, "Hey, if baking soda works so well on my bathtub, why not try it on my hair?" So I made a paste of baking soda, lemon juice and a little water. When I rubbed it into my scalp, it felt gritty and weird, with a disappointing lack of the sudsy bubbles that I am used to. But I persisted, and when I rinsed it out, my hair felt softer and cleaner than it had in a long time. It was really remarkable.

Then I decided that I needed a conditioner as well, and this is where everything started to go horribly wrong. There were several conditioner ideas online, but after raiding my kitchen the only ingredients I could find were bananas and yogurt. I smushed these together and got a gloopy mess that I tried in vain to spread evenly onto my hair. It was gelatinous and gross and the smell reminded me of a dentist office, but the absolute worst part was that IT WOULD NOT COME OUT! I rinsed for over twenty minutes and used up all of my hot water before finally giving up. I then forced Scott to go through my hair with a fine-toothed comb looking for "banana boogers". Twenty-four hours later I was still picking rogue bits of banana out of my hair.

So what is the moral of the story? If you ever get an urge to slather your hair in bananas, do not do it! But do use baking soda and lemon juice as a shampoo, as it works wonders.